Building a Backbone
Just over here training my backbone. Literally.
While it’s fun to train in and outside of the gym, build muscles, follow an exercise plan and hone in on our physical health, I cannot forget, nor should you, to work on training our mindset and outlook on life. Our values, belief system, frame of mind, outlook, and character all need trained, checked and rechecked to ensure we are improving or at least holding steadfast with our backbone. Integrity is at the heart of having a backbone; also dually similar in that it is not always seen, but having integrity and a figurative backbone is essential to our livelihood and success to living on our own terms.
“A backbone is a symbol of strength in character, an unwillingness to be used or taken for granted, and a firm commitment to uphold one's decisions and feelings. We've all seen and heard of people who have a backbone; they are the strong ones, the ones who get what they want.”
Yes, growing your backbone may take time. It’s there, but it may need fine tuned, built up, or even flexed from time to time. Having a backbone at times will upset people. Grow/flex it anyways. Here is your reminder that having a backbone means personal freedom, the ability to look at the world with possibility and optimism and knowing deep inside that if you have integrity in your decisions, and stand firm in your belief system, all will be well; regardless of the outcome. Read that again, all will be well regardless. Having a backbone comes with the faith that you believe in who you, where you are headed, and how you will get there.
As you become more aware of whether you need to brush up on strengthening that backbone, or even relying on it more, things to consider moving forward would be: a) do you let the opinions of others impact you heavily, b) allow the fear of being wrong or making mistakes keep you stagnant, or c) live a life that is free of controversy/confrontation because it is easier for you, yet unfilled? It may be time to do a superset of backbone building ASAP!
Other questions to ponder on this journey of living life on your terms are:
•Do you do what you say you will do? Even if it is unpopular, unliked and difficult?
•Do you allow your mood to be affected by the behaviors of others on a daily basis or do you set the tone for the type of day you will have?
•Do you take risks that will allow you to get where you want to go, or do you stop short because it is scary to put yourself out there?
•Do you fall into a tailspin when you receive critical or negative feedback?
•Do you view the world as out to get you rather than, how can I make a difference with my choices?
No one is perfectly firm in having their backbone, 100% of the time, all day, every day. Each person does have self-doubt from time to time. But I encourage you to flex your mindset muscle and work towards being confident in who you are, your belief system, and where you are headed in life.
Find your backbone. If you can’t find it, have a coach (or someone you heavily believe in, trust and admire) help you outline your values system and boundaries to help get you back to where you feel like you have your hands on the wheel, and are not sitting in the backseat of life.
As much time as you (we) spend training our bodies in a gym setting, working out religiously or eating the right foods, we have to train our thoughts, reactions and mindset with this same vigor, discipline and fortitude. When building your biceps, please don’t forget to build upon that foundation that guides, protects, perseveres, and helps shape our everyday lives and decisions. Commit to once again believing in yourself and your pursuits. Shoulders back, chin up, eyes forward, and straighten that back as you go out and face the day! No slouching around here, (pun intended).
-Jen